This is kinda weird, but I think it could help. I have a lot of things I want to tell you, but there are some reasons I don’t. And I thought at the moment it was best for both that I don’t. I am sure this will end up being the worst idea, but maybe I will let you read those.
These are the things I write when you ignore me, which is the biggest issue for me, it triggers the worst fears and behavior, and I still didn’t learn to handle it as an adult. When I think you are being shady, dodgy, distant, cheating, lying, or different in any way, I will turn to writing all the negatives down.
I hope you understand that I am taking my medication in a bid to fix the consequences of my issues. My only trigger of all the bad I am is being ignored or abandoned by the person I love, especially them being a partner. You abandon me sometimes, and since you know that is my hell, I felt betrayed, unimportant and cut off, which is exactly what you do. Betray, show my insignificance in your life and cut me off. Hurt me, see me hurting, and abandon me. You do this.
Then, I write. it is all under the category Letter to BF.
I don’t know, but you must also make me feel really good as well, so I’m still with you. But you have to understand – you keep treating me like roadkill sometimes. I am sure it is not all about your big beautiful pink cock.